Friday, October 12, 2007

How to forget someone who i still love...


9 months ago i knew someone from my workplace. She was the most irritating person i have ever met lol. But during July things changed... when i was havin a very bad cough, she showered me with concerns. At first the only way to repay her was just treating her ice-cream. Later on she starts to tell me about her personal problems with her bf. And i too start to show her concern and advice her to break off with him. And during the time i did that i realize that i started to like her.

She asked me out after work and we talked about her problems again. It seems that i asked her a very impactful question... "will you be happy with him in the future?" I guess that question really stuck in her head.

On August 25,
She asked me out again... well techincally speakin is that we decided to go out together. Coz at that time i decided to forget about her and her problems and move on with my life. But when i told her that i felt like crap. I dunno how she felt but from her looks it was'nt good as well. When both of us were leavin for home, she asked wether if i want to sit somewhere and talk. Well both of us went to City Hall and sat down and talked. It was considered a very happy day for me coz she told me that she wanted to give me a chance to be a part of her life.

Ever since that day i never leave her from my sights. During work we were together, even when im not workin i went to my working place and waited for her the whole day till she ends work. We usually go out to places she wants to go. Everyday i spend with her brought me closer to her and soon i can't even not see her for a day.

Her bf soon knows what was going on. Well i guess he knew it for quite a while coz she changed alot in her attitude and personality. And i got into an arguement with him. Lol come to think about that day i was scared like s**t.

After that night, things never work out smoothly for me... soon i was fired from my job due to reasons that involve her. She was very sad about it. After that i receive sms from her that she and my collegues misses me.

Well due to the fact that i was'nt working i had alot of time and went to see her almost everyday.
She decided to break off from her bf. I was happy of course but she never accepted me as her bf as well. Thus i tried to win her heart, there was one time when we pass by this shop called Arcadia at Central and they had this huge poster of a cat and there was a cat ring which she likes alot. But sadly the shop was'nt open for business yet... Before the end of September, the shop was open and we went in and i found out that there is only 2 Cat rings in the shop and that even if you want a 3rd one you need to get it crafted provided the designer wants to do it. After i heard that i reserved the ring for her. I wanted her to be the first to own it. On the 30th Sept i bought the ring and gave it to her, well i guess its her personality that i just realized. She was happy to have the ring, but is she happy that it is i who bought it? Or is she happy because she got something she wanted?

October 8
Worst day of my life. She told me that she had a feelin that she will go back to her ex. I was sad and angry at the same time... I asked her "If you felt/know this was going to happen, why did you let me into your life in the first place?" All she could say was a sorry. After that day, i could'nt eat, sleep or even go to work. And most of the time i cried till i sleep.

October 9
Never went to work, my mom actually called my NS supervisor who is also a good friend of mine to come and visit me. He told me alot of stuff about relationships. At one point i accepted it and decided to let her go. I met up with her and we talked about it and decided to end it. Well we actually ended it on Oct 8 but it was'nt in the nicest of ways. I went home a happier person... but that was what i believed... I still could'nt sleep nor could i eat.

October 10
Went to work. But still could not work. Never called her, never went to see her. And around 1800hrs i receive a message from her saying that she dunno why still thinks and misses me... I did'nt see the message till 1900hrs. But while i was on my way home i kept thinking of her and tears just flow from my eyes. I kept controlling myself till i reach home and just let them go.
I called her at 2000hrs and cried when talking to her. But we could not talk for long as her ex<- now her bf again is waiting for her. October 11 Went to work. But cannot work still. Went to see her and talk. And that was the last time i talked to her. She told me that she followed what her heart believed. She believed that her bf was the one for her. And that we would not have a chance together. (Well i believe that most likely because im a very hot-tempered and impatient person. Thats why she said that. And i actually learned about it from my mom today Oct 12.) Well after work, im lucky that my sis (not my real sis) and her bf met up with me and talked to me. I felt better and later was able to eat something. When i went home, i started packing all the stuff she gave me. My mom suggested to throw them but i kept them. Well not to waste stuff and when i have totally forgotten about her. I can use them again :p Well my mom also told me that she scolded her for doin all this to me. I sms her <-the girl that im sorry that my mom said what she had said and its not really her fault that all this happened. After that at around 2448hrs she sent me a message saying that her flight on the next day was at 0830hrs. October 12 I woke up thinking of her again... Well maybe its because of the sms she sent me. At first i had the urge to go and send her off at the airport. But then again i dunno which terminal she is goin... I went to work but surprisingly i never think about her that much anymore, and i was able to do something i love again. My sis met up with me for lunch and we talked about both of our problems. I dunno why im always happy seeing my sis. (And no i dont love her like as in a relationship i love my sis as my sis thats all. Dont want you readers get the wrong idea lol) After work i went to bugis to do some shoppin to replace all of her items that she bought for me. Well sure cost me a bomb... Bought myself a bag, wallet, coin pouch, handphone pouch, handphone strap and a bottle. Until now there's something she said that i will never understand... "I have more feelings for you then him and you are important in my life." if thats the case why is she doin this to me... I'll never understand. October 13 Well today. Woke up at 0548hrs. I still think of her. Its so difficult not to think of her. Anyone reading this have any suggustions? Im all ears :D Well i guess enough for now coz this is a dang long post. Im gonna go Orchard and do some shoppin later as well and my sis invited me to her house for Hari Raya. gonna go catch some sleep. Will post more stuffs about me in the future. Keep looking XD

No comments: